With Christmas over I’ve started to mull through the past year of 2012 and think about the upcoming year 2013. Instead of multiple resolutions stating what I will and will not do I’ve decided to simply focus on Good Choices.
What do I mean by Good Choices?
I mean, stopping before acting, taking a deep breath, and asking myself: Is this action I am about to take a Good Choice? And then letting myself do whatever the hell I want. I don’t intend to be prohibitive or judgmental with this question I simply intend to create awareness. And in so doing, perhaps, if I am lucky, make more Good Choices.
Of course there is the ambiguous and the unknowable — so I won’t always be able to answer these questions for myself. But there is also the obvious:
Eat the entire bag of potato chips? Good Choice or Bad? For me the answer is Bad. Not so much for my ever-disappearing waistline, but because I know myself well enough to know that if I am about to devour an entire bag of potato chips I am either wildly bored, incredibly tired, or emotionally overwrought (see evidence of nearly empty potato chip bag and mother staying in 1,000 square foot 2 bedroom apartment w/me and hubs and 2 kids for 2 weeks.)
Surf the internet for 4 hours? Good Choice or Bad? For me it is usually Bad. The internet allows me to numb-out and to escape whatever it is I wish to escape (see paragraph 5, lines 4 & 5). The internet is something I use to avoid writing which leads me to….
Avoiding my writing? Good Choice of Bad? Depends on if I am avoiding and why. If I am researching (I mean really researching not the web-surfing bullshit I do some days that I label as research) or say if Daniel Craig invited me to his yacht then these would be excellent reasons to miss a writing day–or at least passable reasons. And I might even say not writing for a day in exchange for sitting with Daniel Craig on his yacht (assuming he has a yacht) would be a Good Choice. But Daniel Craig aside–usually choosing not to write on any day is a Bad Choice for me. A mean-spirited torturous self-inflicting-wound type choice–one that I pretend is not happening–much like my childhood.
I digress. Or snipe. Or snark. (Again, please see paragraph 5, lines 4 & 5.)
Regardless as I approach the end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013 I’ve already begun to employ my Good Choice or Bad Choice paradigm. Example: my mother’s been here, with me, in my 1,000 square foot apartment with my husband and my children for nearly eight days and the woman is still alive.