The Not So Glamorous Life

Hold up…don’t rush out to your local bookstore, seven eleven, Walmart, Ralphs, mailbox or wherever YOU were going to get the April Issue of Glamour because of the Fabulous Review for HGC..because it WON’T BE THERE. Shed no tears for me, because I already shed enough for us all. I actually did a U-Turn on Laurel Canyon Blvd at a Magazine stand when I saw that oh-so-lovely Drew Barrymore grinning at me from the Cover of Glamour! I LIT UP inside…couldn’t cut in front of the Mercedes Sedan in oncoming traffic FAST enough to get my lovely little car into the parking lot behind Save-On. I scrambled from the car, teetering on my high heels and skipped (okay limped a little…they are high heels) handed over my five dollars and turned to the index…review, review, where is the review? I walked back to my auto and slipped into the front seat. I must have missed it. I then methodically (I am a former attorney) went page by page through the magazine…yes EVERY page. Hmmm…no book cover and no review. I must have missed it…again? So yes, for a third time I went page by page through the magazine…and NO REVIEW! It was at this moment I got the sinking sensation in my chest combined with the nauseous sensation in my tummy…you know the one ladies right? I think we’ve all had it either when we see a former lover with his new girlfriend or when we get our credit card bill? SO what next to do??? Hmmm what everyone in Hollywood does…Call My Agent!
“Hi, it’s Maggie. I know I am being incredibly high-maintenance today. I mean what is this call number three. But is Andy there?”
“No problem,” Jennifer said and giggled. “I’ll get her for you.”
Unlike Celeste I wait patiently the tears welling in my eyes…the potential book sales plummeting.
“Hey cutey what’s up?”
“Have you heard from Crown?”
“No, why?”
“Well the review isn’t in there.”
“Did you email (making up a name) Cindy?”
“I’m on Laurel Canyon on my way to the Apple Store, my Laptop crashed this morning.” Oh yes…shall we segway for just a moment..did I mention that my Laptop ALSO crashed yesterday morning? For a writer losing your laptop is very close to losing a pet..before becoming a mother I would have said child…but now as a mommy I know to never to make that comparison…but ladies (and the 2 guys that read my blog) I digress…
“I’ll find out,” the Uber Fabulous Andy says.
“Thanks.” I clicked closed my phone, fired up my car and pulled into traffic trying to stear through my tears…okay no I wasn’t really crying. I was rationalizing..perhaps I got the month wrong. Maybe in my 3 read throughs in my car with the sun toasting me I missed it…I mean I wasn’t that good of an attorney..yes.. I missed it or they meant May…it’s in the May issue that hits stands the middle of April which is even BETTER since the book actually comes out on April 10. WRONG. All WRONG. Seems that a full page of book reviews got cut this month…but as you’ll see when you get your issue or if you buy your issue…which I encourage as now I’ve read it three times and it’s a very good issue…you still get to hear from some very excellent chick lit-already-published-authors such as Jennifer Weiner and Gigi Grazer (how does one woman get to look that good, be married to Brian and be a fabulous writer…Blessed is Gigi! You go girl!) But no Hollywood Girls Club review…Publisher’s Weekly loves the ladies, Kirkus thinks they are a whole lot of fun…and Glamour liked them until they had to cut a page…or two…hmmm. What would Cici do? She’d pitch a BITCH..that’s what Cici would do. But I am not a 20 million-per-film-ultra-fabu-movie-star so what will I do? Well there are, according to THE best and hardest working publicist in the book biz (I’m calling her Cindy because I haven’t asked her if I can use her name) other ‘things’ in the works…BIG Things, GREAT Things, GRAND Things…Things that because of my Glamour HGC Review that got cut, deleted, or postponed (fingers crossed for postponed) that I just don’t want to reveal…until I see them in print. But the moment that I know..for sure..then you’ll know. Happy Weekend Ladies.
xo Maggie

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